I was honored to be able to speak at the Relay for Life event at Mike Caudill Middle School on Friday night. God gave me words and helped me tell my story without crying uncontrollably. This is what I said:
"On Monday Nola came to the Richmond Register where I work to talk to Lori and Ronica about the Relay tab that was printed on Wednesday. I've known Nola for many years and she asked them if I still worked there and then came over and asked me to speak tonight. I said "No I can't" But Nola said "Yes you can." Lori and Ronica said "Yes you can." They both told me I was one of the strongest women they knew. But I promise I'm not. If I have any strength at all it is because of my God. He gets me up out of bed every morning and I praise Him because I couldn't even be standing here without Him.
I went home and called my pastor Kenny Davis and he said "yes you can, if you do it in God's strength." He prayed with me and I decided to do it.
I'm positive that everyone here today has been affected in some way by cancer. Some of you are fighting the battle right now. Alot of you are cancer survivors. Many of you know how hard it is to watch a loved one suffer with the pain of not just the disease but the treatment of the disease.
My 20 year old son Tony was diagnosed with a malignant tumor behind his sinus cavity in January of 1995. He was in the hospital for 3 months. It took a month to even diagnose him but after they did, he had aggressive chemo (I remember the nurses called it the Red Devil) every weekend and radiation Monday thru Friday. But he died just 2 months later on March 25. I was devastated.
My husband Roger was diagnosed with lung cancer in April 2002. In the 7 years between these dark times in my life alot of research was done and alot of progress was made in the treatment of cancer. But again I was devastated because it didn't help my husband. He died too in October 2003. He was 52. He wasn't hospitalized the way Tony was, just when he had low counts and once when he had pancreatitis. I was honored and blessed to be able to take care of him at home.
Before Tony died, he had a talk with me. Well, he couldn't talk but he had a letter board that he used to spell out words. He told me not to be mad at God. That if he could go back and change things and not be sick he wouldn't. That because of his sickness alot of people had become closer to each other and to closer God. He trusted God and knew that He was in control. It was his courage and faith that kept me going. The same was true with Roger. He kept telling everyone his was a "win/win" situation. If God healed him here on earth, he won and if God chose to take him home, he won. And so even in my devastation...when I thought I would never have joy in my life again...I have been blessed beyond measure. God gives me joy unspeakable in so many ways that if I started naming them ya'll would have to listen to me all night.
We are here tonight to remember our loved ones that lost the battle with cancer, and to honor those who have won that battle or are still fighting the battle. We are here to raise money for more research that will bring us closer to a cure. Even though I have lost more loved ones and friends to this horrible disease in the 15 years since Tony died, I also have many loved ones and friends that have won the battle, in particular my brother-in-law Gordon. I praise God for them.
If you are here tonight and you are in that place where you have no hope and you feel like you will never have joy again, please believe me when I say there is hope. There will be joy. Have faith.
We have to keep on fighting. We have to keep up the research. We can never give up hope. But most of all we have to keep on praying to Almighty God for a cure.
Psalm 103 verse 2 says, "Bless the Lord. O my soul, and forget not all His benefits; Who forgives all your iniquities, Who heals all your diseases."
Even though neither Tony or Roger had a lot of money to leave me when they died, they did give me something far more valuable. The assurance that they had eternal life in Heaven and that we would be together again someday. The most precious gift you will ever give your loved ones is one that won't cost you anything. Jesus already paid for it."
I hope God was honored and someone was encouraged. I still miss my guys.
Tony in his white t-shirt showing off his new tatoo that gave his momma a heart attack! Must admit though that it was a neat tatoo. An American bald eagle with it's wing (American flag) across it's beak.
This is Roger at the Relay for Life the year after Tony died.
